But I love you

Some days I wish that I could have emotion flow out of my keyboard the way it feels when it wells up in my soul. I can try, but sometimes words just are not enough.

When Billy and I were dating many moons ago, I would tell him I loved him and he would say to me “But I love you”. It was our thing, and when we got married I had the words “But I love you ~ Jojo” engraved on the inside of his wedding ring. I love that he always wears it even after 23 years… my words next to his skin.

As often is the case, as the years went by, we used our special sentiment less often. Here and there it would come out but it became more of a novelty than the rule.

Billy is not a hugely demonstrative man. He is not a public hand holder, and he doesn’t gush sentiments to me all the time. They are rare, and when I say rare, I mean rare. Sometimes my texts to him go unanswered. He reads them and thats good enough for him. I am the talker and sometimes many times I tend to talk so much I miss some of what this very quiet man has to say. Women take note: sometimes we should just listen quietly. Amen.

Sunday I was about to go out for a run. He called me over and told me to look up a song on Spotify. I said “Is it country? You know I don’t care for that” and he said “Just listen to it. I think you’ll like it”.

I took off running and the Eli Young Band filled my head. I ran on and on, listening.

“Some people wish
Some people dance
Some never take a chance
Some people steal
Just for the thrill
And some drink to get their fill

…..But I love you”

I took in a breath that stopped me short. I sent him a text and continued on my way.

“Some people preach
Some people write
And some choose to just stay quiet
Some people teach
Some people roam
Some would rather be alone
…..But I love you”

And he returned my text.

I ran with tears in my eyes and played the song over and over again.

When I got to my forest trail and all my beloved trees were around me the music rose and the lyrics filled my soul to the brim.

“Some people hurt
Some people laugh
And some just don’t know what they have
…..But I love you.”

Alone, I bent over with my hands on my knees, rocking on my heels and sobbed. Thank God I know.

This man of so few words of love and devotion, rocked me to the very bottom of my soul with a song and three simple words.

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


I love you, by the Eli Young Band

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4 Responses to But I love you

  1. Hil says:

    Awwwwww! I’m so glad that someone treats you right. The inside of my wedding ring says 808+714=infinity. Long story.

  2. kathy says:

    Awww Jody that is so sweet!

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