Whew. The last month has been….something else. That is putting it mildly.
First we had an appendectomy. He has healed beautifully. While in the hospital he dreamed of IHOP and within a day of getting home, got his wish.
Less than 2 weeks later my 13yo broke his foot, so we were right back to the same ER. Am on first name basis with ER staff. Winning!
It is quite a bad break, right at the growth plate. 4 weeks no weight bearing, then we will see how it is healing. He is comfortable now, but it hurt pretty good at first. We are grateful it will not require pins or surgery of any kind.
During all of this I got sick with a whole host of female issues, AKA peri-menopause. A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT: THIS SHOULD NEVER BE MISTAKEN FOR A HEAVY PERIOD AND CRAMPING OR SOME PMS THAT IS WORSE ONE MONTH. That is called your late 30’s or early 40’s, AND IT IS NOT PERIMENOPAUSE, so quit calling it that (raises hand and is guilty of this). This is much like the bleeding you have after having a baby and are waiting to deliver the placenta. Or maybe the heaviest day you have ever had for, oh, say, 4-6 weeks. Honestly, I am about to just give in to my GYN docs pleas for a hysterectomy after the last bout of peri-menopausal insanity. Right now my HGB and HCT are at all time low levels…9.6 and 28 respectively after 6 weeks of heavy bleeding and let me tell you that running, surfing or cycling take on a whole new challenge when you are that anemic. It is like being at a high altitude. Huff, puff. I am pretty weak and emotional. Not to mention caring for sick kids during it all? (bangs head on wall) I seriously felt defeated.
Why don’t women talk to each other about this stuff??? I feel like it is some sort of Big Secret. You would think everyone is just breezing through ThE ChAnGE by their silence. When you are vocal about it you start hearing casual things like “Oh, yes. Now that you say that I do remember bleeding half to death here and there.” BUT THEY DON”T SHARE THIS WITH YOU UNLESS YOU TELL THEM FIRST. Even if you ASK. It’s like a secret f’ing knock or handshake.
Well, I want out of this little, macabre club. I have never in my life had cysts on my ovaries, but in the last year have had two months (both in February) of hell from giant fluid filled monsters that screwed my hormones up beautifully and resulted in 6 weeks of bleeding and mood freak outs that had my husband wondering where oh where did his normal wife go. I am done with this and ready to move on, but I don’t think I am off the hook quite that easily. I just pray for a long break from all the bleeding so I can get my iron count up and not worry about getting attacked by a bull shark every time I go surfing. You think I am kidding there folks, don’t you? Well I am not. It was so bad I surfed far away from Mia and Bill just in case. No joke.
And if that were all not enough, my FIL went in the hospital for a routine procedure and almost died. It was no bueno.
Oh, and across the whole spectrum of stuff Bill has been feeling bad from his stuff, which puts me pretty much over the edge. I can’t bear when he is sick. It’s like a black cloud comes and sits over me and I worry and worry.
But….in spite of all of this, yesterday the sun came out. We all blinked and shielded our eyes and said “Whasthat?”. It warmed up enough to sit out in a bathing suit soaking up some sun with the animals. Nurtle the Turtle, AKA “Nerds”, was pretty stoked.
We also went to church on Wednesday and got our ashes. It felt like a promise of good days ahead. A reminder that, even when things are kinda rough, there is something good and true that you can count on every….single….day.
And so begins the month of March and this Lenten season. I decided not to give up anything so to speak. Instead, I am giving something to Him. My trust and faith that everything will be okay. It doesn’t sound like much, but honestly, it is everything right now.