Canyonlands, Horseshoe Bend and How to have naturally gray hair like Emmylou Harris, overnight

When we last left our band of wanderers, they had been greeted by a small fox in the desert.  Pure magic.

After a quick breakfast, we packed up the tent for the 93 time and loaded up the truck.  Let me clarify what exactly that means.

Remember those Rubik cubes?  The ones where you have to spin the colors around trying to fill each side with its respective color?  There is only one solution and you damn well better remember how to do it.

That is my truck for more than 2 weeks.  Below you will see the contents BEFORE the kids added all their bags.

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Every single time we unloaded to camp, the truck bed had to be emptied and then when we loaded it, everything had a specific place.

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By Gawd, if one piece was out of place the whole damn thing was screwed.  With 4 people loading the truck, can you guess how often that happened?  Right. Pretty much every time was Rubik cube fun.  If anything was screwed, the surfboards would not fit without the Bacflip crushing them.  It is a miracle from Heaven that they made it to California with not one single ding in them.

So, we got the Jack In The Box back into the truck bed and headed on to explore Canyonlands.

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There is a sheer drop off in front of Quinn in the pic below.  They had run on ahead of me and I was walking up behind them to snap a picture before I realized.  So, if you go here with young ones, keep them close and don’t let them wander ahead on the trails in Canyonlands……because, low and behold, there are indeed canyons.

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As you can see, this area did not disappoint.  So, so beautiful.  Again, I could have spent a week here hiking and exploring, but we needed to press onward towards Arizona.

Page, Arizona to be exact.  I had a couple of must sees on my list, and one was Horseshoe Bend at sunset.

I have no clue what I was thinking. Remember how afraid I am of heights?  Well, this one pretty much was one of those places that I would have lost all my marbles if all the kids were crawling around it at once.  It is a sheer 2000 foot drop with no railing what-so-ever.

I told the kids they could go one at a time with me.  Unbelieveably the boys completely bawked at going to see such a splendid place to freak their mom out.  They were tired, hot and ready for camp.  AND, they had no desire to listen to me flip out when they explored.

But Mia thrives at stopping my heart so she hiked to the cliffs with me.  She wanted to get right up on the edge and dangle her feet over, and that was met with a big, giant, echoing HELL NO.  I let her get on her butt and scoot toward an area that had a small shelf underneath.

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You can see how thrilled she is here.  And do not be fooled by my smile. I am suffering greatly here.

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In this pic, you can see the little “shelf” is about a foot wide and full of sand and crumble.  Honestly, this was pretty much the spot in which I very nearly puked and had an aneurysm.

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It wasn’t that I was concerned Mia would trip and fall to her death (yes it was)……it was the freaking tourists giving the big middle finger FU to fate, gravity and everything in between. They were jumping from edge to edge, jostling each other and honestly acting like God was all “You don’t need your brain.  Let there be life without common sense in thee” and just left it out of their skulls to give to someone else who actually might use it.

Exhibit A.   I almost screamed “OMG MY DAUGHTER IS GOING TO WATCH YOU FALL, SCREAMING TO YOUR DEATH. GET AWAY FROM THE EDGE IDIOT”.  I wanted to run up to him and yank him back.  But instead I let out a little whimper and prayer.

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One mother let her very young children WALK AND JUMP (do you see my use of caps here) along the edge.  The boy was maybe 5.  That crap is for sea level playgrounds people. He had no sense of his mortality AT ALL, and when the mother called him away from the edge he said “NO”.  When she tried to grab his arm and pull him back he YANKED AWAY FROM HER, JERKING TOWARD THE ABYSS. Mind you he was literally standing on the very edge.  I aged 363 years right then.  I could hear the angel wings as they fluttered and pushed him from behind so he wouldn’t fall.

And then we left, Amen.

We found a spot along Lake Powell to camp and it was so pleasant to not be high up on a cliff flaunting death.  The kids asked later that evening if we could go back in the morning to Horseshoe Bend.

I think I gave them a death glare and stammered “Do you think I am stupid? I mean, seriously people. WTH?”.

And they never asked again.

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This is a place for parents who are calm, can keep a firm grip on their children and are not outnumbered.

It also might help to take a huge swig (or two) of rum before you go.

The End.

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2 Responses to Canyonlands, Horseshoe Bend and How to have naturally gray hair like Emmylou Harris, overnight

  1. leeann says:

    Absolutely gorgeous. We did not make it to Page but wish I could have, especially seeing those pictures.
    We *loved* Canyonlands and I know exactly the arch and drop off that you are referring to. I didn’t realize it was there either and it was STUNNING to see but also scary.
    We did plenty of butt-scooching too!

    • Jody says:

      Page is a definitely worth the trip. I don’t think we even scratched the surface of all there is to do there. But we had a time frame we had to loosely adhere to so we will have to dig deeper into the area next time.

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