Its a glorious day to spew!

I awoke this morning to all the sounds of spring. The sun slowly brightened the windows in my bedroom. The birds were singing. Squirrels scampered across the roof. I stretched and yawned. My baby was snuggled next to me. I heard a few sniffles down the hall in the boys room. Then a sound caught my ear. Some thing else…..sort of a guttural sound. Great….massive …….heaving with a “WHahhhhhh” at the end of each heave. Birds ceased their song. The squirrels hauled ass back to their tree tops. All you could hear on this beautiful, Texas, spring morning was the roar of souls bursting forth from hell.

God, please no. I thought we escaped it this year! Don’t let it be. Not, THE VOMIT VIRUS FROM HELL!

Let me explain something. When Bill gets the barfs, there is no mistaking it. I mean, this man can heave. If he were not feeling so bad, I would really have to laugh, because, it sounds like someone faking it. I hear “WHahhhh, WHahhhh, WHahhhh” and I think, “good God, its the Apocalypse”. I have never in my life heard such a unique, loud vomit symphony. Efficient is the word that comes to mind. Hell, if anything stayed down, it would have to be a 10 lb rock to escape that effort.

The first time I heard it, early in our marriage, I thought he was dying…..and he was, somewhat. It was the morning after the Mardi Gras parade in Galveston. LOTS of fun had by all. Can you say, 7 Long Island Ice Teas? It was bad. It was awe inspiring.

I have been an RN for 11 years now, and as many barfs as I have seen or heard, none hold a candle to his.

Yes, spring is here. Chris, pass the Lysol.

WHahhhhhhh