Affection
He is lucky to have such an affectionate dad, and we are lucky to have such an amazing son.
I am sorry I have been so sparse here. Bill hasn’t been feeling well the last 2 weeks. His PSS (post stroke syndrome) has been back really bad, and it had us quite worried. It finally eased up on Friday and on Saturday he went surfing, so the worst is behind him us, we hope….if you don’t count him being up at 1a.m. Sunday night with a headache, me curled on the couch next to him waiting for the Motrin to kick in. His headaches , to us me, are much like the bell Pavlov used for his dogs.
When he feels bad, I really can’t deal with the outside world. I try and be a good friend, but honestly, I don’t have it in me to be there for anyone other than Bill and the kids right now. I try, but fail miserably. Case in point that I did not show for a friends B-day party Saturday night. I am sure they think I am a snob or something, but then again when I try and explain, it feels like it falls on deaf ears……..like talking into a wind tunnel, so why bother.
So, I shut down. Which is where I am right now. Back in my familiar little shell. I need to hang a sign on it that says “Private! No friends or relatives allowed”.
Thank God my little shell is filled with sights such as the one above. And the ocean. And the beach. And boats. And surfboards. It also has cupcakes in its pantry. And rice crispy treats. No, you can’t have any.
I know what you are feeling, especially since my husband walked out, I would give anything to have that back because it was our life.
Your family is your life, but when they are sick and there is worry why wouldn’t you choose to be with them as opposed to a party? Your family comes first, so your motive is ok.
I would love to live at the ocean, I too retreat a lot, it is ok for a season.
I have temporarily shut my blog down, I don’t know if I will open it back up, I have a ton of friends that visit me on facebook and I didn’t really feel like anyone was at the ole blog. I still c ome visit you everyday, because I love visiting! Ill be in touch.
Jody what you and Bill and the kids have go threw …People dont understand it fully unless they go threw it and anyone who seems deaf to you telling why you missed a dang birthday party …I mean come on i birthday party and its a crime but like i said outsiders dont understand…I dont understand it because i havent been threw heck i just turned 19 saturday…but i would understand why you would be able to come family is always first to me
I totally understand “shut-down mode”. I go there myself occasionally and I don’t even have an excuse like a husband with PSS. ;o)
((hugs))
I am the “queen” of shut down mode, you know that! I will keep you guys in my prayers, and please not try to worry what others think. As I have told you before, those who love you understand.
I will ask St. Andrew Avellino’s intercession for Billy’s continued healing and peace of mind for you. Love you guys.
Praying for your man, your family, and your own personal peace.
I’m so sorry to hear that Bill hasn’t been feeling well. Does it happen often? I will pray that he feels great most of the time. As a person with a chronic illness I understand not feeling well…
Praying for you and your precious ones Jody. Leave that sign up for as long as you need. We’ll be here when you’re done. What kind of friends would we be if we weren’t?
As far as I’ve been able to tell, February is just a sucky month all around. Here’s to taking care of one’s OWN self and family FIRST, LAST, and EVERY DAY in between. Praying for you and yours over here.
Well, I think that’s the way it should be. (After God), your husband comes first. I’m glad he is feeling better now and hope he continues to do so.
Shutting down is just fine. You know what is best for you and your family at any given time, and any real friend will support you in your decisions.
Much love,
Karen
Jod- just take care of your family. To hell with anyone who doesn’t understand what you need at this moment.
I’ve been through exactly the same mode… and decided it was time to ‘clear my plate’ of people who made me feel guilty for not being able to give what they expected.
Take care of you and yours.
They’re the ones that matter in the end anyway.
(((Big Hugs))) coming your way.
I do the same “shut down” thing. I’m so sorry he’s been poorly. Husbandito gets wicked migraines also but I can’t imagine the PSS ones. Sweet clogs he’s got on there.
No neon green left in the store? 
take care. I’ll be thinking about youse guys.
I’d have to disagree.
You are probably so far from shut down- you are incredibly tuned in. To the needs of your family, concentrating hard on being there for your immediate loved and dear ones. Paying attention to the home front with little left over for anything else.
It’s called surviving. We all do it.
Good for you.