The low down and for those who do not like cursing, please cover your eyes
Why, oh why do we have to have real life, with jobs, bills, cat litter, school, etc. Coming home from our little trip this weekend was about as enjoyable as having all of my eye lashes removed with a tweezer.
I really love my house, so this is saying a great deal about how much I love being with my family at the beach, in a trailer. It was heaven. We popped popcorn and watched a movie together in our little house, and spent most of the daylight hours outside at the park, at the water slide or on the docks fishing and soaking up some sun.
The trailer is eveything we hoped it would be. Plenty of room for all of us, comfortable, and we are now referring to it as our beach house. It tows like a dream, and Bill’s truck has no problems at all with the weight. I felt all of the tension I have been experiencing disappear…totally.
Real life…..coming home to the rut we are in was a total drag. I am nearing the Terrible Time of the month, so I can contribute much of my irritation to that, but some of it is just being sick and tired of the day to day monotony.
In addition, I have been a real b_ _ ch to Bill this week, not that he hasn’t deserved some of it (I guess I have to ask myself if anybody deserves to be treated badly), but normally I don’t freak out about the small stuff. But, Lord, I had a temper tantrum that rivaled anything Mia is capable of, even while she is on that hateful crap Benadryl, and it culminated in me gently heaving the laptop into the grass in the front yard. Real mature, I know. Those who know me in real life will laugh because this is totally uncharacteristic of me. The funny part is it was a direct result of Bill telling me I spend too much time on the computer, which I do….duh! I try not be online when he is home, but sometimes I get bored and log on. Well, he ragged me about it and I snapped. I tossed it gently into the grass, then stomped into our room. It was a bit dewy outside, so I sat in my room and worried about the circuit board getting wet etc. Bill made no move to get up and bring it in, so I gave it about 30 minutes, then went quietly outside to retrieve it. As you can see, it had no hard feelings and continued to work without a problem. What the hell was my point in doing that?
Well, I was just pissed, that is all. Pissed that Bill comes in and recleans the kitchen floors when he gets home from work, even though they were swept and mopped an hour earlier. Pissed that my kids have no clue as to what a laundry hamper is. Pissed that the freaking palmetto bugs ate through the bag on a loaf of bread (we are not dirty, these vermin are just a fact of life near the coast…I hate them with a passion) and I had to ask Bill for the millionth time when he was planning on treating the house for these vile bastards??? The laundry doesn’t get done, and he gets in lecture mode, but bugs the size of mice are eating the bread I make the kids sandwiches with, and well, he can’t take my criticism. Bah!!
I know those of you who have been here awhile are well aware of how much I adore my husband. But, Lordy, is he chapping my last nerve this week. Cancha tell?????
What is the solution? Well, for one I imagine getting my period will help. But really, what are we doing? Day in and day out we clean, do laundry, and chores, and in the end, we have a clean house, but FOR WHAT??? I know there are chores that must be done, don’t get me wrong. I am the queen of neatness and our house is so damn clean it is down right scary. But what else is there? My kids and husband are the most important things in my life, and it seems that life, and the daily tedium of it, get in the way of my most precious relationships.
I am sure many of my friends and relatives are wondering why we have purchased some mighty expensive toys in light of the fact that Bill is 48, and retirement is looming up ahead. Not to mention 4 kids to put through college etc. I have actually had people question our decision. Well, here it is. My dad worked his whole life putting money away for retirement. Vacations were rarely taken. He never bought that big sailboat he talked to me dreamily about every Saturday morning over coffee. Instead he socked the money away and when he turned 65 and reached that golden finish line, he retired, then was promptly diagnosed with terminal cancer.
I have dreams. My husband has dreams. We are not going to spend our whole adults lives saving every red cent in anticipation for those golden years . I won’t lift my hands up in victory at age 65 only to be handed a slip, like my father, that basically says “Sorry, you should have enjoyed it while you could”. Don’t get me wrong. We are saving for retirement. We fully intend to enjoy it and go on an adventure together. But in the meantime, we want to enjoy the here and now with our kids while they are still small.
So, we have bought the 5th wheel and the truck to pull it with. We are going to start exploring the world on weekends and vacation time, then who knows what. We want to spend some quality time together as a family. I will surely get annoyed with my husband, or feel overwhelmed by the kids at times. I am not in a dream land about this. But having the ocean outside my window might just take the sting out of it. You think?
Hey, we all get irritated with the dh. If they’d just wise up and do it our way for Pete’s sake, LOL. I made myself a little sign for my fridge “Mary or Martha?” I’m a definite Martha type, so I need reminding.
Having thrown my fair share of temper tantrums, I couldn’t help but smile when I read about the laptop in the lawn.
And I think you’re 100% right about not waiting for “someday”–right now you’re making memories and enjoying the *now with your family.
Thanks a LOT Jody…now I can’t get the image and the feeling of having my eyelashes plucked out with a tweezer OUT OF MY HEAD!
OHHH…that’s awful….
I’m with ya, sister! Mundane life sucks. But the 5th wheel is awesome. Think of all the great times you will have.
I appreciate your post Jody. I have sort of got in the mindset in the last few months of “When we retire…” and we are trying to start saving for that and in the process I feel like we are getting cheated out of the here and now. Our kids have never gotten to experience anything outside of South Dakota and I really would like to give them that opportunity.
Sometimes we need to take a step back and remember what is important. Thanks!
I hope you and your hubby can come to a compromise soon. I spend too much time on the computer too, I would kiss my hubby’s feet if he would sweep and mop after coming home, and well I have been known to throw a tantrum or two in my lifetime too. LOL
Wow – I really liked this post as a lot of it struck a chord with me. Don’t even get me started on the mouse infestation we battled here for three years before I finally freaked on my dh and INSISTED that he get an exterminator because I had found mouse droppings on the change table and in my baby’s bed!
My husband comes down every morning to the view of my back at the computer. He’s never said anything, but I can FEEL him thinking it!
We are enjoying our money now while we have it, too. No one can tell you how to spend your own hard-earned dollars.
Take care!
P.S. Can you come and clean MY house for me? Please?
Don’t feel bad about enjoying life while you are able; my mom and my grandfather (her father) experienced exactly the same fate you described, socked away loads of money for retirement and then, just a year before being able to use it, died suddenly. They worked and slaved looking forward to the end, and then didn’t get it. And think about it doubly – if you save it for yourself for when the kids are out of the house, they lose you now, plus they won’t see you when you are away on all those trips later. My dad gripes about the price of airline tickets at Thanksgiving, and won’t come home for a family get together, but he brags about being able to take Carribean cruises. We didn’t see him (or my mom, who is NOT enjoying those cruises now) back when they were earning the money, and we don’t see him now. Use it, and share it with your kids, so you will all have great memories in another 20 years.
Oh, and as for dh, he is certain all I do is spend time on the computer all day. Well, one day I DID just that, and he got to see just what didn’t get done. He complains less now.
I hope AF comes and goes and leaves you alone for a good long time!
My husband’s father died just 5 months after retirement. We are trying to stay balanced. Spending some now and enjoying life and putting some away for a future that may or may not exsist. DH is the saver, I am the spender and “give every last penny away” girl. We used to have conflicts over computer time…our solution…buy a second computer. It can be romantic to IM your husband dirty messages when the kids are still awake.
A tip that has helped me with my PMS…Organic Milk. The regular stuff is pumped with “girl” hormones that mess us all up. This opinion has not been researched…just experienced by me.