Running with scissors a toothbrush

It is not a good practice to allow your children to run through the house with a toothbrush. Especially with said toothbrush in their mouth. The child could fall and jam it into her cheek, cut it badly, and cause a hematoma the size of large walmut. Bacteria could enter the cut and mix with the blood, causing an abscess.

This would in turn result in fever, redness, swelling and the growing walnut sized hematoma/abscess could begin to radiate heat.

This could cause the already freakish mother to lose her ever loving mind. She might obsessively question her husband repeatedly about the absess, causing his eyes to glaze over and drool to run out of his mouth from the sheer numbness of listening to the hysterical mother, over and over and over and over and over and over again. She might even cry, and wring her hands when her little daugter looks like she has a large wad of chaw in her cheek pouch.

Now, say, the husband starts the child on antibiotics and the redness, swelling and heat begin to go away. After three days of antibiotics, maybe even the swelling goes down….. just a bit. Then on Monday morning the child falls and smacks her cheek on the edge of the coffee table. This, people of the internet, would cause much crying and hysterics by child and mother. Especially when the cheek becomes MASSIVE. The mother might take the child to the doctor. There might be a couple of scenarios given by the doctor to the wild haired, spastic mother. One could involve I.V. antibiotics, hospitals, oral surgeons and, FLOCKING YESCANYOUBELIEVEIT, surgery. The other might involve long term antibiotics and frequent measurements of the absess to determine whether it shrinks, grows, or stays the same. Hmmm, surgery………….non-invasive “watching it”. Surgery……..watching it. F#$king(pardon me, but that word HAD to be said today) surgery…….watching it. Any questions?

If “watching it” would reveal that it stays the same and/or grows, then, go back to our first scenario…..the one that involves hospitals, needles anesthesia, surgery and all kinds of “mother insanity inducing” crap.

This is an actual scenario, but it is not a scenario, really….more of an actual event…. actually. The names were omitted to protect the father who allowed said child to run with toothbrush, the mother who needs meds now, and the child, who is oblivious to all of it and just wants everyone to quit looking at her “boo boo” already.