The large family topic yesterday was about comments people make to those of us with larger families.
Mine include, but are not limited to:
- Like Carmen, I have been told that “since you got your girl, you can now keep your legs closed”. This was said to me by my cousin, who I love dearly…..who herself had 4 kids. Humpf.
- You finally got your girl.
- Everyones favorite: “You have your hands full”
- People counting my children outloud.
- I have had people make a cross with their hands and push it towards me as if to ward off whatever demon would give someone that many kids.
- Better you than me.
- And last but not least someone said to me “It sucks to be you”.
You know, whatever. I usually ignore them, or tell them how lucky I am.
More important to me is when someone goes out of their way at a restaurant to come over to my table and tell me how much they enjoyed watching my kids and asking me “Do you know how lucky you are to be surrounded by these gorgeous children”.
Yes, I do know…and I thank God for people like that, who are aware of the value of a child. Those are the people that God sends to give us affirmation and encouragement.
We are incredibly fortunate to live in a Catholic community where most people have 4 or more children, so the only time I get the comments are when I go to the big cities surrounding us. Yes, they piss me off sometimes and I would love to rip into the person, but I have learned that they will not get it, no matter what I say to them, so why waste the energy that could be better spent on my kids.
So, don’t let them take the air from your sails. It sucks to be them, you know?
I loved reading these! I am a mom of four too, and I have encountered all kinds of rude comments, starting when I was pregnant with my third (sheesh, since when was having three kids considered crazy or even unusual?)
I wrote a column about it while I was pregnant with #4–you can read it here: http://hub.lsj.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20050608/NOISE18/506080315/1149/HUB
By the way, I just stumbled on your blog while blog-hopping from TBYH’s links — love it! and your kids are adorable.
I have 6 sisters, and I remember as a child, shopping with my mom and a couple of us. The checker at the store would often say – “Wow, are all these yours” and one of us would always say “there are 3 more at home (or whatever.) It never occured to me that people were being a bit rude – I was just really proud of my big family.
I have 4 kids now (3 girls and then a boy – everyone says – “ahhh, you got your boy…”) and I get the “hands full” comment a lot. Yesterday I was at a park with our 2 youngest, and I was talking to another mom there with 2kids. I mentioned that we had two older kids at home and she got so excited and said that they are thinking about having another, but she’s just not sure blah, blah, blah. I told her to go for it.
Your family is lovely!
The “Are you done having kids then?” is a good one too. We have four and it is a lot of work, but ya know what? I don’t need you to tell me what I already know.
I do enjoy the people who enjoy the show we put on when we go places as a large family. The nice comments lift my spirits.
I get the “aren’t you going to try for a girl” all the time. It used to be very upsetting to me because it was like they were saying my boys weren’t good enough. I’m over it now. But, seriously, why do people think they have the right to ask such things?
I jumped on the band wagon yesterday and posted an epic long post about large family comments. It was like therapy!
Today, I posted about the nice things people say, which thankfully, happens a whole lot more.
I still get “Are you going to try for a girl?” since I have 4 boys, in addition to all the other rude comments.
But just the other day in Sam’s Club, an older couple came over and told me what a wonderful family I have. That was cool.
I really appreciate those people who take the time to tell me how wonderful my kids are when we are out in public. They make me feel all warm and fuzzy. Not like the people who glare, stare, and are rude.
I hate the comment, “Are they all yours?” Urrrr!
Hi Jodi! I remember how hard 2 kids were. There is something about going from one to two that really rings your bell.
Going from 2-3 or 3-4 was nothing compared to the shock I felt after having my second.
Hats off to you too!
When I see people with more than 2 children, I always think “How do they do it?” I can barely manage 2. So my hat is off to you!