The apocalypse
Our water heater started leaking……..actually, it has been leaking drop, by drop for at least a month. The boards were wet under it, and it was slimy and icky. Bill extracted the heater yesterday afternoon, bought a new one and installed it. It leaked too. Then he had to go into work for a meeting…..then take the boys to a baseball game. Meanwhile, we live in tiny rural Texas, and all the stores close at 5pm. Which translates into no heated H2O at Chez Jody2ms.
Not a problem…..the real issue is that Bill also decided to bomb the attic for the palmetto bugs in the midst of the water heater fiasco. I had 7 kids at the house, and it was 97 degrees outside. He let the bombs off, and we sat on the patio in blue jeans, sweating like pigs. We had to move all the aquariums outside as well.
Not a problem….what he didn’t tell me is that he let off 6 bombs. 6 people!!!! What the hell was he trying to kill??? He said to trust him. What scares me is, what did he know about the attic, that I didn’t?
Not a problem….except when the bugs evacuated the attic and came downstairs where the air conditioning and clean, pure air was free for the taking. Invasion. By BIG ASS, NASTY BUGS. The kind that FLY!! They came into my house to die. Even the cat was freaked out.
Not a problem…except that Bill had already left for the ball game, and I had to be at another ball park to work the concession stand. I was picking up dead bugs left and right. They were very traumatized, and were purging themselves and miscarrying on my wood floors. That gross you out? Yeah, me too.
I ………..was…………..freaking…………out. I can pick up snakes, crickets, hand feed newts and frogs. Show me a palmetto bug, and I disolve into a screaming, shreeking Barbie. Show me 10 and I need a straight jacket. Show me 15, and well, you can only imagine.
I got in my car, 6 bombs blowing toxic fumes into the attic, and drove around the front of the house, fully expecting to see hundreds of palmetto bugs pouring from every crack and crevice, with the ghosts of homeowners pasts swooshing out with their big “O” shaped mouths howling “Whoooooooo! Look ouuuuuut, its gonnnnnnnna blooooooooooow. Goooo to the light!! NOOOOOWWWWWW.”
After 6 bombs in about 800 square feet, I would imagine the attic is much like the dead sea at this point.
My house, is another story all together. As I made my bed in preparation to go to sleep, I looked up and one was pearched on the ceiling right above my bed. Screaming and Barbie dancing ensued, until Bill cornered the beast…who by the way was about as big as a mouse, Ikidyounot.
This morning I went to throw something in the stainless steal trash can that has a tight fitting lid, and when I opened the lid, a huge one was poised at he top of the pile, resting itself (insert theme from Psycho). Much screaming and Barbie dancing again. Yes, it was almost dead, but the horror, people!!
Lesson to be learned…………..we are extremely clean people. We never leave dirty dishes out. All food is put away in containers. The problem is, that in south Texas, if you leave the window in the attic open to ventilate it, for, oh, say, a year, Palmetto bugs are going to find their way in. Trust me on this.
Thanks for stopping by!! I hope you all don’t have nightmares of giant bugs crawling all over you tonight! I know I did!
**edited to add….THIS is a palmetto bug…although I haven’t seen any of the ones here do the moonwalk yet…only the death crawl! DIE SUCKA”S!
I can relate to this story on bugs, Yuk!
One Saturday morning shortly after we had moved to this house, my husband let me sleep in. I was in our second story bedroom and he was out front with the kids. I got up and pulled on my slippers and inside my slipper (which my foot was now in) was a millipede! I screamed so long and so hard that half the neighborhood came running in to see if I was being murdered!
Needless to say, I didn’t live that down for a very long time!
(I am clueless what a palmetto bug is, but will google them)
LOLOL Sue! There is NOTHING like finding a big nasty bug in your shoe. ICK.
If I were you, I think I would sell the house, or at the very least go to a hotel for a few days. It sounds awful!
Like Sue, I had to google a picture. My skin is now crawling. Disgusting large varments. NASTY!
We’re having a problem with them as well. We live in an apartment and I was chasing one around the kitchen except it got away into the living room. I honestly couldn’t sleep knowing that sucker was still lurking……..
ACK!!! This reminds me of the time bees built a hive in our attic. it was awful.
Okay – BEYOND gross! I am dying for you!
It looks like a cockroach to me, which after 9 years in Arizona, I am familiar with, and I feel EXACTLY the same as you do about them! We were fortunate enough not to have them residing in our house, but periodically the city treated the sewers, which sent the giant sewer roaches out looking for places to die. Once one came into the house, and in my attempt to sweep it up I flipped it over. Roaches can’t turn back over by themselves, but now I was afraid to use the broom on it because it would grab the bristles. So I sprayed it with a LOT of ant and roach Raid, which did absolutely nothing to it. So I just told the kids we were going to stay in the other room until Daddy got home to kill that bug.
LOLOL!! Paula, that is exactly what I would have done! Yes, that is what it is….a huge, disgusting roach. The German cockroach is the one you usually see in your home. We don’t seem to have those. These like to live in oak and pecan trees, and our property is loaded with pecans. Bill opened the upstairs window to air the attic out while the house was being painted, and they came in and roosted up there. Blek.
Thank God I have not seen any since Saturday morning!
“Even the cat was freaked out.” – LOL! I will need to re-read this post in say, January, to remind myself why we live in Saskatchewan!
The really nasty thing about those darn bugs is that you can smoosh them under your shoe and they will continue walking along the floor dragging their intrails behind them….they are evil in the form of a bug. OK maybe more than you wanted to know. Sorry!
Bahahahaha they do grow ‘em big in Teaxas. We got our share here in Florida and we also call the giant cockroach a Palmetto bug. Sounds nicer but a roach is a roach unles it is a smoke
Grew up in FL with those big, ugly bugs doing dive bomb exercises at me. I learned real early to always check my shoes before putting them on too. I hate those bugs.