The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly.
Okay, so we have been OOT yet again. Sorry for the long pause. I would have said something, but I always worry about announcing on the internet that we are leaving and our house will be empty.
THE GOOD…….
Actually, the house wasn’t empty, as DH stayed home while I took the kids to visit my family up north of here. It was a great trip for the most part. I had an awesome time with my mom and sister. We had lots of quality time for them to connect with the kids. They really concentrated on lavishing love on the boys and Mia. It was great. We swam, shopped, went out to eat, saw a log cabin village, shopped some more, stayed up really late, slept in, and talked, talked, talked.
THE BAD……….
My brother, his wife and kids came over to see us on Saturday. My relationship with my SIL is strained to say the least. But I love my brother so much, so I try and deal with it for him. His 3yo daughter has a seizure disorder and what appears to be moderate to severe autism. She is on a special diet and loads of meds to control the seizures. During dinner, I had her on my lap while Jack fed her because there was no highchair. While that sweet, curly haired angel sat in my arms, she had a seizure. I held her, stroked her head and told her that I was there and talked soothingly to her. When it was over, she cried, and my brother took her in to let her go to sleep for a while. I went in to check on them, and my brother opened his eyes and gazed up at me, his gorgeous daughter in his arms, and said “This is my life…every single day”, and closed his eyes again.
THE UGLY…..
On the way up to my moms, my cell phone rang. I answered my husbands call and said “What’s up?” He asked how far I was from my moms, and how the kids were etc.. Then he dropped his little bomb shell. “You have cancer” he said to me. “Your biopsy was positive for basal cell carcinoma.” I had two suspicious lesions removed from my arm 4 days previously, so I was anxiously waiting for the results to come in. They looked like the one in the second picture on the above link. Very small, almost like a wart. Crappity, crap, crap. I am 39yo and have skin cancer. I immediately flashed back to me, sitting on a surfboard, bobbing around in the ocean for hours, day after day….the only protection was a much too infrequent blob of Bull Frog to my face. Ah, to be young and oblivious.
My DH explained to me that I inherited the tendency for it from my dad. He was Danish, very fair skin, blond hair, blue eyes and had multiple lesions removed from his face, back and arms over the years before he died of lung cancer. I am the same, only my eyes are green.
I now will need to frequent the derm doc for head to toe skin checks each year.
My father dying of cancer gave me a hypochondria to it. This has validated my fears. The RN voice in me says that if you are going to get skin cancer, basal cell is the one to have, as it is treatable and rarely spreads. The wounded, watched-my-dad-die voice has heard the words “you have cancer” and now I feel invaded and vulnerable.
Tans suck.
I hate the word “cancer”. I wonder if we could get it expelled from Websters dictionary. Ah, but the actual disease would still be there.
Thanks of all the (((Hugs)))), I am feeling a bit more confident that all is going to be fine. I just will have to use mega sun screen, and frequent the derm doc 2x each year for full body checks.
As for the little one growing too fast, I am right there with you! Mia still has some of her newborn newness (when she wakes and does that full body stretch/curl)but she is growing soooo rapidly. She weighed 15lbs 4oz and was 25in at her appointment yesterday.
My baby is growing up!! Ack!! I know that is what she is supposed to do, but it still makes me want to cry!!
Oh, and she is now sitting, little toot, but she still prefers her sling! Despite the neck pain, so do I!
(((HUGS)))
My SIL died from cancer last year after 18 mos of various treatments. A couple weeks before she died I had to have a nodule biopsied on my thyroid. Same thing as you…if I had to have cancer this was the “good” kind, but UGH. Watching her die and waiting my own test results was almost too much.
Lisa, My baby doesn’t want to be held or snuggled much anymore. The other day she lifted up my shirt and gave her sign that she wanted to nurse. Then she laughed and said “all-gone” and pulled my shirt down. I didn’t know whether to laugh with her or cry.
(((Hugs))) My mom died from cancer and I can totally relate to the little voice. Earlier this year dh had basal cell on his forehead removed. You can’t help but have a flash back. Keep that RN voice yelling!!! Oh, enjoy the holding, I have now entered the don’t pick me up, let me get in everything, who needs to cuddle, I can nurse and stand phase. Sigh…I want her to stay little.
Lisa (thejoyofsix)
(((huggs)))
wish there was more i could say. keeping you in my thoughts.