The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly.

Okay, so we have been OOT yet again. Sorry for the long pause. I would have said something, but I always worry about announcing on the internet that we are leaving and our house will be empty.

THE GOOD…….

Actually, the house wasn’t empty, as DH stayed home while I took the kids to visit my family up north of here. It was a great trip for the most part. I had an awesome time with my mom and sister. We had lots of quality time for them to connect with the kids. They really concentrated on lavishing love on the boys and Mia. It was great. We swam, shopped, went out to eat, saw a log cabin village, shopped some more, stayed up really late, slept in, and talked, talked, talked.

THE BAD……….

My brother, his wife and kids came over to see us on Saturday. My relationship with my SIL is strained to say the least. But I love my brother so much, so I try and deal with it for him. His 3yo daughter has a seizure disorder and what appears to be moderate to severe autism. She is on a special diet and loads of meds to control the seizures. During dinner, I had her on my lap while Jack fed her because there was no highchair. While that sweet, curly haired angel sat in my arms, she had a seizure. I held her, stroked her head and told her that I was there and talked soothingly to her. When it was over, she cried, and my brother took her in to let her go to sleep for a while. I went in to check on them, and my brother opened his eyes and gazed up at me, his gorgeous daughter in his arms, and said “This is my life…every single day”, and closed his eyes again.

THE UGLY…..

On the way up to my moms, my cell phone rang. I answered my husbands call and said “What’s up?” He asked how far I was from my moms, and how the kids were etc.. Then he dropped his little bomb shell. “You have cancer” he said to me. “Your biopsy was positive for basal cell carcinoma.” I had two suspicious lesions removed from my arm 4 days previously, so I was anxiously waiting for the results to come in. They looked like the one in the second picture on the above link. Very small, almost like a wart. Crappity, crap, crap. I am 39yo and have skin cancer. I immediately flashed back to me, sitting on a surfboard, bobbing around in the ocean for hours, day after day….the only protection was a much too infrequent blob of Bull Frog to my face. Ah, to be young and oblivious.

My DH explained to me that I inherited the tendency for it from my dad. He was Danish, very fair skin, blond hair, blue eyes and had multiple lesions removed from his face, back and arms over the years before he died of lung cancer. I am the same, only my eyes are green.

I now will need to frequent the derm doc for head to toe skin checks each year.

My father dying of cancer gave me a hypochondria to it. This has validated my fears. The RN voice in me says that if you are going to get skin cancer, basal cell is the one to have, as it is treatable and rarely spreads. The wounded, watched-my-dad-die voice has heard the words “you have cancer” and now I feel invaded and vulnerable.

Tans suck.