Rambling, whining and cursing

Warning: You will not be getting funny today from me. If you want funny, you must go here. Be sure and wear a Depends.

What I know that I didn’t know last night:

-the stroke is in the white matter of his brain
-my 48yo husband has 36% chance of having a major stroke in the next 30 days or so.
-he has mild atheriosclerosis (fuck spelling)
-I have used the word fuck more times in the last 48 hours than I have in my entire lifetime. I apologize up front, as I know this is as offensive to some readers, as it is to me. But I am just barely hanging on here, and it keeps flying out. So there. Fuck.
-he is on 162mg 325mg of aspirin a day
-he started Crestor, 5mg/day
-the prognosis is good in the beginning, but long term is not.
-Bill is the calmest person in the word. We need to bottle whatever the hell it is inside of him and sell it as an anxiety treatment. We would make a fortune.
-he is also dragging his right foot, bumping into things, and drooling…all in an effort to make me laugh. It works sometimes, but last night it did not.

He went on to work this morning, which is a good thing, as I would imagine that it would be a bit unnerving if you had just had a stroke, and your wife was crying everytime she looked at you.

My life would have no meaning if something happened to him. There. I said it. I love my children, and I know they would give me purpose, but Bill is a part of me.

If he died, I would be half of a person. I would die of heartbreak.

**This just in…..my doctor, the wonderful Dr. Tim, who I love to death, is taking the bull by the horns and has pulled some strings and got Bill in to a fantastic cardiologist….right now. So, he is in route as I speak.

Thank you all for your well wishes, concern and prayers. I just can’t concentrate and pray right now, so you are doing it for me. Okay?