More random “stuff”

I think I am officially depressed.

Yesterday was franitc and crazy. Today I just feel blah.

This morning I asked Bill if he was having any other symptoms, other than the tingling, and he replied “Just a very, very slight headache above my right eye”. I look at him and see a walking time bomb.

I need to mow the lawn, which is basically half of a city block. That should be fun with a 2 year old.

He told the 2 oldest boys what happened. He said that at one point he told them that “there is just a tiny area where the brain didn’t get any oxygen and that little spot died” and Cody piped in “Good thing it wasn’t a large area or you would be dead”.

My stomach dropped and stayed there.

I sit, right now, looking out to our driveway at the trailer, and where I once saw excitement and adventure, I now see a burdon and anxiety. You know, we talked about the “what-if’s” the other night, and the truck and trailer will be the first to go if, God forbid, he has another stroke of greater magnitude.

It is like someone put out a light in me.

If you walked up to me and told me “I am taking everything from you today. Your house, your furniture, you clothes, cars and personal possessions….but I am leaving you your husband, and children” I would gladly hand it all over to you. What I am imagining now is that someone is walking up to me and saying the same thing, but the only thing I may leave with is my children.

I think I need to rename my blog “Poor, poor pitiful me”.