and baby makes 6!

You can do almost anything

I wanna have the same last dream again
The one where I wake up and I’m alive
Just as the 4 walls close me within
My eyes are opened up with pure sunlight.

I’m the first to know, my dearest friends
Even if your hope has burned with time
Anything that’s dead shall be regrown
And your vicious pain, your warning sign
You will be fine.

Hey oh, here I am
And here we go life’s waiting to begin.~The Adventure, Angels and Airwaves

In 2 weeks I will be running in a 1/2 marathon.  The best part of this is that I will be blessed to have Billy cheering me on at the finish line.

My husband had a stroke 3 years ago.  I used to have a really hard time saying that out loud to anyone.  Now it flows off my tongue quite easily.  I think that it woke me from some kind of  domestic coma.  I was happy, content and satisfied with my life.  Who wouldn’t be.  I had 4 lovely children, lots of friends and lived in the best town ever.  It was all so wonderful and safe.

Safe.  What is that?  I think that safe, for me,  had become another word for fear.  Fear of the unknown.  Fear of life.  Fear of what could happen.  Our lovely small town had become my safety zone.  So familiar.  So peaceful.  So very safe.

I have never, in my entire life, been someone who follows the path of least resistance.  I have always taken the path less traveled by.  If something was not a challenge, I could not be bothered.  Billy is the same way.  But when you have children……precious children……you don’t step out and take risks the way you once did.  Now, with babies, the path less traveled by looks dark, ominous, full of traps and snares that could harm them.  You take the path that is easier, safer, because you are responsible for protecting their bodies and minds.   That path is joyful, wonderful and full of every kind of loveliness.  You chose the right road  for that moment in time.

Then one day you find that the sunny path, the one that you thought was safe for your family, had its own rocks for you to stumble over.   The safe path had no guarantees either.  Sometimes, things just happen.  You realize that in choosing the safe road for your family, you might have missed some of the joyful bends and views that the other road had for you down its tricky path.

You have to decide.  You have 2 wonderful choices…..you can keep going in the direction you have chosen and see what else is in store or you can gather your strength, throw on your heavy pack, and head down the untrodden path.

Either way, the future is uncertain.  Each road has its joys and sorrows, but you cannot help that your gaze keeps going to the one covered in dense brush, hiding its surprises.  Since you stumbled on the safe path, you consider that nothing is really safe and you figure that life is short, and you may not get a another chance to go down the path less traveled.  So you turn and with one arm you pull back the branches and usher your family into the unknown.

To your surprise,  the sun is shining there as well.   When you round the first bend, with tears in your eyes, you take in the dappled beauty of light shining through and you applaud.  And the children applaud as well.  It is not the other path.  Nothing can ever compare to it.  That one was lovely and unique.  This one is different…..wild, but also very similar.  There is God.  There is your family.  Friends.

When I run across that finish line in 2 weeks, I plan on throwing my hands up in the air and pumping my fists.  I am doing it for myself, and I will be joyful for my husbands life and for my own…. for a chance to experience being alive with Billy for just one more day.

And I will be thankful for taking the path less traveled by.

There’s a little black, dark scar tire divide

This is it can you hear me?

Have you ever felt a sad heart buried alive?

You can do almost anything.

There’s a little red bridge with the view of the sun with the lake

Recommend such a setting site.

And the thousands of stars come out thousands of times

We can go only if you believe.

Only if you believe.

I’d like to say, that your my only fear

And when I dream, it slowly disappears.

And when I wake, I’m  right there by your side.

To feel your heart beat in and out of time. ~Call to Arms, Angels and Airwaves