Home

Yesterday at work, I cared for a boy much the same age as my son Cody. He had to have emergency surgery, and while caring for him post op, all I could think about was my son. I pictured him in the same situation, and so I tried to care for him as if he were my own.

Last night when I came home, I showered and dressed for bed as usual, and Cody came into the room. He asked me if I had to go to work again in the morning and I told him, no, I did not. I informed him that I did not have to go back for 4 whole days.  He smiled and hugged me, then ran out of the room. 

After I had climbed into bed, he slipped in the room and snuggled into bed beside me.  He hugged me tight and said “You are such a good mother.”

Stunned, I turned to him and said “Thank you so much Cody. Could you tell me what it is that makes me a such good mother to you?” and he replied “Because you are so nice to us, and you love us, and take care of us………and you are so much fun. I just love you.”

My day had been filled with self doubt and disappointment in myself for not being there for my kids. Anger at myself for working and spending so much time away from them.  I had cried and cried in frustration as I drove to work in the dark at 6am, wanting so much to just be at home with my kids.  To wake up to my daughter curled in my arms, and my husband with his arms around us both. 

I have something to say to my son.  The son who was so sick as a child, we thought he had leukemia.  The son that I sat by the phone for, holding Bill’s hand in a death grip, waiting for the call from the oncologist to tell me whether his 15 month old blood had blasts in it… a tell tale sign of cancer.

The son who cried when I had my first miscarriage. He had named the baby Sarah already. I told him that we could name the next baby Sarah and he said “No, this baby was Sarah. There won’t be another Sarah”. He was 5yo.

The son who is never the first to let go when hugging. 

You are such a good son, Cody.  You are a good son because you have learned how to tell when someone needs a hug. You have learned how to be kind.  What more could a mother want for her child? 

He has a kind face