Role reversal
My husband was home for 2 weeks prior to starting his new job. He took over all home responsibilities, including laundry, cooking, cleaning and nurturing. In addition to the usual, he painted the walls, rearranged furniture, carted the kids to here and there, and in general was fanflippintastic as a stay-at-home dad.
And Mia fell in love with him. Deeply and heartbreakingly in love.
Everyone told me this would happen. They said that little girls fall for their daddies at around 2.
Me, I think she shifted her attention to the one who was most available to her needs (dagger through my heart). Not to mention that he is soft spoken, loves to snuggle and she fits just right in his arms. Who couldn’t fall in love with him!
It does give me pangs. Pangs of guilt. Pangs of longing to be home with her.
Bill started his new job yesterday, and we are back to our usual routine. It felt good for him to wake me up, instead of me being the one to rouse him. He asked for coffee as usual. He dressed in slacks and a button down dress shirt and tie. I stared at him and drank it all in. I love how he looks dressed for work, and I had missed it.
He does this thing every morning….he tucks the end of his tie into the front of his shirt so that it does not fall into his cereal. As he leaves for work, I pull his tie out, pull him toward me by it, and kiss him. It is our private, sexy little exchange. I watch him walk to his truck and drive away.
Yesterday, as I did this routine, a small little girl pushed her way between us and Bill reached down to pick her up. He kissed her goodbye, whispered “I love you” in her ear, and I took her from him so he could head to work. It was then that our quiet morning routine was shattered by a blood curtling scream. The tears flew from her eyes and she sobbed, “My Daddy. I want my Daaaaaaddddddy” as he walked away from us to his truck.
She flung herself from my arms, would not let me pick her up, and cried for 30 minutes.
I have been replaced, and it really sucks.
The only thing I have that he doesn’t is boobs. Ha Ha! Take that Daddy’s Home!
Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
And now for a survey. All of you wonderful lurkers, please don’t be shy. Jump out and have your say.
Should I:
a. Quit my job
b. Go down to part time (2 days a week)
c. Buy Geico
d. Hang in there and give it more timeÂ
e. Have a beer and chill
f. Keep her favorite candy in my pocket at all times and flash it at her when Bill is in the room
Ack. I am jelllllous. My preshus baby doesn’t luv me anymore!
Or e) Be thankful that your daughter loves her daddy so much.
It won’t be too many more years that she will become a teenager and daddy won’t be so cool anymore.
And then you will both be in the same category. LOL
Lurker here to add that I choose d….oh, and the newly added e.
It would have broken my heart, too.
I vote for d, e, and f
My kids swap between parents. It bites when you’re the parent who is the “unloved” one, but it will pass.
LOL on the b00bs comment!
I choose second option E
I feel you on this one. I’ve been so busy that sometimes the twins accidentally call me grandma or ask for daddy. ouch.
I personally would do B and D. Though hey, E sounds good too!
I would go part time until she’s in preschool or something, just to have a tiny little bit more time with her. Either way, just know that you’re lucky she loves her daddy so much and of course she still loves you just as much!!!!!
What is with all this “lurkers”, everyone is talking about lurkers – makes me feel like I’m spying from the bushes…I’m just enjoying my daily dose of reading, for verification that my life really is normal
That aside, I would opt for option B, time does go by too quickly to spend time stressing over things if they can be changed, part-time might allow you to feel more balanced. Now if I can just remember my own advice…
Lurker out. (Ick, I feel like I have to go take a shower)
I WISH I could get my kids to go to their father.
I vote to get a gecko and have a margarita. That wasn’t an option so I had to make it up.
I to had the same problem when my girls where little. They are now 14 and 18. They have a great relationship with both of us now. Have a drink and enjoy watching. She will change with whoever is home more. Bill is working now. It is very hard to go through.
I vote for b and d. You’ve mentioned how stressful this transition to working full time has been numerous times, and it doesn’t sound like it has gotten easier. Meanwhile, Bill has gotten a great new job. But, your job sounds like too good of an opportunity, in terms of $$ and flexibility and hours and doing what you love, to walk away from. But if they will let you go part time–DO it.
You can always quit later, and odds are, in your profession, that you could probably go back to full time in the future if you wanted. Meantime, you are keeping up your skills in case you should really need to go back to work full time.
Go to part-time.
My daughter is 4 and had no eyes for anyone but me for all this time. And now, suddenly, she wants to go to her friend’s house. On Sunday, she wouldn’t even sit with me at church–she had to sit by her friend (he’s 2!) and his mom!
Fickle kid!
Quit. I won’t read the other responses so I won’t be swayed, but quit. You can always go back to work (especially YOU!) but you’ll never get this time back. Sissy went over to the dark side (Jamie) when I was hospitalized, pregnant with Ellen. She has never come back.
Ellen is ALL MINE! 
But seriously, quit. Unless you need the money or are starved for the needs that are met by your working, quit.
No one’s ever wished that they had worked more when their kids were young. Not many years left until Mia will be in school full time, enjoy them.
Well, as someone about to head back to work and leave her babe I’ll have to go for d. But I am sooo not above f either.
By the way, I’ve told you before that I have a bit of a crush on your husband. Don’t get too freaked out – I have a bit of a crush on you too. And your kids. Gosh, your whole family really.
Don’t worry, I live a long way away. 
What a great dad! No wonder she loves him so. Your tie-kiss is such a beautiful morning ritual, it almost makes me wish my man wore a tie to work.
I say B and/or F
Hope that helps!
I vote for going part time. The kids are going to grow SOOOO incredibly fast that you are going to have an 18 year old leaving for college in the blink of an eye!
If you can swing it – go part time. Still get out of the house, have an adult job, get to be a woman instead of just mommy and wife… but more likely not to have forgotten children at daycare, missed schedules and a stressful frantic lifestyle.
If part time is truly an option to return to right now I’d go for it.