The last mammoth
I have a bunch of friends here. People I love very much. People who are so good to me that it hurts. It hurts because I feel lost in their midst. The flurry of lunches and teas and shopping and trips to get your hair done. Girlie things.
They are wonderful, beautiful people that I am so grateful for and I don’t know what I would do if they were not in my life. They are my friends for life. But we are different. I feel sort of like the last mammoth of the ice age, searching for someone just like me.
I wear UGG boots because they keep my feet warm, not because Kate Moss is wearing them now. After a winter surf session, I dry myself off, climb into the truck and stuff my sandy feet into them and watch the surf that I just played on.
I don’t wear makeup.
My Levis have holes in them, not from the factory, but because they are 15 years old and are worn out.
In the summer, I wear tanks tops and baggies.
My t-shirts are paper thin from wear. I even have one from summer camp when I was 12.
I didn’t have 30 pairs of shoes for NoBloShoMo and was a tad bit embarrassed to share my shoe closet. It has the essentials, all very well worn..Tevas, flip flops, Uggs, Merrills, Birkies (17 years old), running shoes, biking shoes, one pair of black pumps that I would rather die than wear, a pair of black flats, some mary janes, Roxy tennies and a pair of work cowboy boots.
I usually have on a Roxy cap.
I call my boys Dude, and everything is radical, wicked, gnarly, and if you wimp out, you are a Barbie or a Kook.
I think about wanting someone to call me and say “The surf is up, lets head to the beach”. Here, if I did that I would have no takers. Trust me on this. Or if I did it would involve great planning and strategy. Forgitit.
I want to go hiking with my best friend…..hiking that makes me cry, it is so hard.
I want to stand in someones garage and see their new surfboard.
I want to get dirty on a mountain bike ride…..dirty with a scraped, bloody knee and the satisfaction that I did the ride with my best friend.
I want my best friend to be able to do all of these things with me.
I want my best friend to have a healed brain. One that can do all these things with me without the worry of having another stroke.
I have a butt load of Christmas parties to go to for my best friends new job and dread it because I have to get dressed up. Do you think I could wear some jeans, a glittery t-shirt and some flip flops? No?
See what I mean?
I skipped a party today with my friends. An ornament exchange. I am sick with a chest cold, and just didnt feel like getting out….reality is I felt more like I just wanted to be at home. Large social situations like that really make me uncomfortable these days. I do better one on one.
I am the person that everyone thinks would be pretty if she would just put on some makeup and dress pretty. I clean up really good.
If it were not for Bill, I would be the last mammoth.
It’s coming down to nothing more than apathy
I’d rather run the other way than stay and see
The smoke and who’s still standing when it clears.
**this post is a variation of the “six weird things” meme Karen tagged me with.
We used to have friends that felt like us- now it’s just us and that’s not so bad, but I miss the dinners and playing cards…
I hear you. I’m not sure where I do fit in, but it’s not here. Where are all the book reading, basketball playing, hiking, jeopardy watching people? Oh, and I have 3 pair of shoes so we match there, LOL
Awww, beautiful post, I am so glad you have Bill.
And as you might have noticed, I didn’t post any shoe pics either ^^ I just have flipflops, one pair of sneakers, one pair of winter boots and that is it. Not to mention that I have a splint on my leg anyway, so that doesn’t help with shoes either.
{{{{ HUGS }}}}
Karen
My shoe closet looks like yours, I dont wear make up, I would rather pull my hair up into a pony and put on a hat then spend an hour styling it. I live in California where appearances are very important and moms wear tank tops 365 days a year to make sure everyone can see the results of their newest boob job (I am not kidding). I had a lunch date with my hubby last week and got dressed up for him (did hair and makeup), afterwards I had to stop by the kids school to drop something off. Ten people must have told me how great I look, and what had I done because I looked so different. Another women told me she wished she had as much self confidence as I did. She could never walk around without makeup all day (I should have decked her but I was feeling nice after my lunch with hubby). Thanks for letting me rant.
Re: the clothes. I think you are my long lost older sister. My favorite part of my job as a medical technologist? I get to wear scrubs and tennis shoes every day. Seriously. If I had to dress up, I would probably want to hurt myself.