and baby makes 6!

Mum mum wants Ruta Maya, not gum, gum.

Here I sit, with my ice cold Tecate, and the whirrrrr of the vacuumm cleaner is filling the house.

No, Bill isn’t home. The kids are cleaning the house today, and I am recovering from the nightmare of trying to get all the paperwork to the finance company for the boat closing next week. And get an ATM card. And online banking. And pack the trailer. And read blogs. And pull half chewed apples out from under the T.V..

I am not some Sheila, cracking the whip at my poor enslaved children. They are cleaning the floors because some nameless child brought Life cereal into the den, proceeded to eat it as if he had not eaten for a week and was using his feet as hands, then threw the empty bag with all of the crumbs on the floor. It was trampled on by many oblivious feet, and found its way under the book shelf………where upon discovering it, I pulled it out by the wrong end, and emptied all the wormy crumbs into the crevice of hell.

4 blocks down the street you could see the blinding white flash of my anger and hear my deep, growling bellow “WHO BROOOOOOUGHT FOOOOOOOD INTO THE DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN??????” When hit with the first wave of my nuclear anger, all 4 of my children poofed into ash and fell to the ground in little piles.

It was not just the Life cereal episode. It had been a bickering, spastic, swing-from-the-ceiling-fan kind of day and I was ready for a beer at 2pm…or to call the zoo and tell them I had some monkeys to donate if they would come NOW.

So, now they are cleaning. They actually do a fantastic job of spiffing up the house. I think having them do the cleaning is a good thing. Not that anyone needs to be taught how to vacuum. With their fathers genes, I do believe it is an inherited trait. But I believe they need to learn that, no matter how much you hate something, it still needs to be done. It is called responsibility.

I let them mop the floors too, but I rarely take them to the grocery store. I mean, really. What is the point? I am there to get the stuff I need and get the hell out of dodge. Someone in one of my e-mail groups stated that she was teaching her girls how to be good homemakers by taking them with her to the grocery store and teaching them how to shop. I think that is good, if it is important to you. All of my kids have been grocery shopping before, but I would never expect them to learn it or enjoy it. I mean, its the grocery store. I figure it is one of those things they will learn on their own, such as crying while paying the bills and pouring a beer without too much foam.

I did learn recently that my son knows his coffee. We had just wrapped up a day at Incredible Pizza and were running some errands before heading home from the big city. We pulled into the HEB Plus and everyone in the car let out a huge “Ohhhh”, not the grocery store” groan. I said “I just have to run in and get coffee, and I will be right back”.

Cory: “Mom, I could do it faster than you. you take forever.”
Me; “Yeah, right. You have no idea where Ruta Maya, Espresso Roast, whole bean coffee is. It is a specilty coffee. You will never find it”.

Cory; “Mom, it is the grocery store. How hard can it be?”

I gave him a $20 and told him to go for it.

Now, this store is enormous. I get lost in it. It has everything from an olive bar to bins of fresh mozzarella cheese balls. Also, remember that the largest store in our home town is Dollar General.

Grabbing the $20, into the store he went. Five minutes later he emerged with my coffee and change. Which ushers in a new era in my life. A time in which I sit in the car with the littles and Cory goes in for quick purchases.

Now he must learn how to make an extra dry cappuccino and we will be all set.

I can see myself now….calling out from bed….”Cory, I am ready for my coffee. Please pour me a venti, extra dry cappuccino with a sprinkling of powdered sugar.”**

**need I even mention that I am kidding? Me hopes not. I mean, that espresso machine gets really hot. Fetching me a cold beer is one thing, but pouring a shot of espresso could be dangerous. ;*)