Dear Mia,
This afternoon we did something that I have been longing to do most of my adult life. Something that I had once thought would never happen.
It is funny how things turn out.
You see, I can admit it now. The pain has abated. The sadness and anxiety from the miscarriages has been replaced with a knowing. A knowing that it was you that was meant to be all along.
I can admit now that I wanted a girl.
A girl who loves all things glittery.
A girl whose voice can make the angels sing.
Your voice doesn’t make me sing, but it makes my chest clinch up and I feel as if I will die from the sweetness of it.
19 years ago, I went with your father and watched as all the mommies and daughters filed into the theater, dressed in their “pretties”. I remember thinking “I hope one day that is me with my daughter”.
Today, I helped you dress in your lovely Christmas dress, brushed your golden curls and left the house.
Today I took you, my daughter, to see the Nutcracker Ballet.
I watched as you gasped when the mice came on stage and how you stared and smiled at the ballerina’s feet as they danced on their toes.
It was truly a magical time, between mother and daughter.
As I sit here typing, with you asleep next to me, clutching the Nutcracker I bought for you tightly in your little hand, I cannot put to words how much this meant to me. I just can’t, sweetie. It will make me cry for the umptimillionth time today.
What I can say is this, so please listen carefully. I do not love you more than I love your brothers. You are not more special than each one of them. But, my sweet girl, you complete me. You are the icing on the cake of our family. A sweet ending like a fine dessert.
I took you, my sweet daughter, to see the Nutcracker for the first time, and it was everything I dreamed it would be…..even better.
I Love You,
Mommy
Oh man, I sooo want to do that some day with my little girl.
The comment about the miscarriages being because Mia was meant to be hit home. My very best friend is pregnant with number 4 right now and was so sad when she miscarried last year. I told her something similar at the time… that perhaps it’s because the child that is meant to be needs to be born. I just smile at Mia’s beautiful little eyes and think – yes, she was meant to be.
Thank you everyone. It was so special. (sniff) Much much different than taking the boys to their frist motocross race in the mud.
Very, very touching. I have five little female blessings and I cannot wait to feel this in “reverse” if we ever have a son.
You are so blessed!
Seriously bawling right now Jody. That was so sweet!
awwww iam sooo happy for you jody
I’ll never forget taking my oldest to see the Nutcracker when she was a preschooler. Simply heavenly. Thanks for the reminder.
Jody,
You should know that I am sitting here on the East Coast, sniffling and snotting myself silly over the pure and raw sweetness of that post. I know how you feel because I feel that way myself sometimes. The feelings so powerful that they literally are exquisite yet nearly too much to bear. Your daughter is beautiful, your family is beautiful and I love your blog.
Leeann
niccofive.blogspot.com
I did the same with my daughter, I know exactly what you mean, and I now do it with my grown daughter and there is nothing more special than a daughter young or older. Savor these sweet memories jody but they carry on through adulthood as well.
This was a sweet post.
Too sweet!!
Mary
Wonderful!
Thanks for sharing this special moment,
Karen
Jody, this brought tears to my eyes. She is beautiful and so is your letter.
I can only hope that someday it will happen for me.
I’ve always wanted boy(s). But this girl thing? It is growing on me.
I know exactly what you mean.
One of the most beautiful posts I’ve ever read. This touched my very core.
Thank you for sharing this moment.
Absolutly precious and well done.