All that I am, All that I ever was

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We’ll do it all
Everything
On our own

We don’t need
Anything
Or anyone

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

I don’t quite know
How to say
How I feel

Those three words
Are said too much
they’re not enough

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we’re told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that’s bursting into life

Let’s waste time
Chasing cars
Around our heads

I need your grace
To remind me
To find my own

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we’re told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that’s bursting into life

All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes, they’re all I can see

I don’t know where
Confused about how as well
Just know that these things will never change for us at all

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?
-Snow Patrol

Sometimes when I speak it all comes out wrong. Sometimes it just seems impossible to tell someone what is in that complicated brain that sits up on my shoulders. How do you put emotion into word? I can’t. I just can’t.

I can’t convey to my friends back home why we left. I can’t explain to anyone here at the coast why I won’t let them in, why I have become an island…..why my family has become an island. I can’t even convey it to myself.

It hurts that there are some people who are still mad bewildered/upset with us. It hurts that they don’t understand.

I can’t use words to make it simple for everyone. It hurts too much to try.

I can use someone elses though.

I can take those words and copy them here, and maybe someone will read them and understand. Maybe someone will grasp how much I love that man.

Everything else in my life pales in comparison to my family.

I will never look back on this time in my life and feel regret for making my husband a priority.

I will never regret turning my back on everything else outside of my family.

I know one thing. I never in a million years knew that I could love someone this much…..that I could lose myself in them.

The line is blurred as to where I end and where he starts.

And I have to tell you, I would go to hell and back with him……coming here was easy.