In a mad rush we loaded the car, as we do every weekday morning, to drop off the big kids at school.
Mia was still in her pink satin nightgown, no shoes, wrapped in a warm blanket.
Honey was in the front seat, enjoying “Bye, Bye”….no collar, harness or leash. She was “naked” as the boys say.
Quinn was fully dressed, wearing Crocs and no coat.
I was in sweatpants, a white waffle thermal shirt with a pink sports bra and fuzzy Crocs….I don’t think I even had brushed my hair.
Do you see where I am going with this? Yeah. Um huh.
So, we drop off the boys, and head to check on the trailer at the RV park where we store it. There had been a ton of rain, so I wanted to see if all was well with the Little House.
We got there, and I turned off the car, leaving the kids in it while I walked around the RV. I was gone for like, 30 seconds, got back in and tried to start the van.
Ru ru ru ru ruuuuu.
I tried again.
Ru, ru, ru, ru, ru, ruuu.
I took a deep breath and tried again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again.
I screamed “Oh just great, you piece of cr…….ud”
I might have said crap. I might have even said some other stuff. I could have even wished it would go somewhere really far south.
A snow bird (winter Texan) came over and tried everything to get it started. He even beat on my full fuel tank with a hammer while myself, the kids and Honey sat inside the van waiting for it to blow.
We gave up, called a wrecker, and he loaded that piece of *#$t van up and I stood there holding a nightgown clad, barefoot toddler, a dog, as Quinn stood by reverently holding a box of donuts we had picked up before the van sucked so bad. (When we got out of the van I was like “DONT FORGET THE DONUTS. THEY WILL BE LIKE RUM TO ME WHEN THIS ORDEAL IS OVER”.)
So, there we stood, in the freezing drizzle, the road covered in mud. It was so insane I started laughing. I couldn’t put the dog down for fear she would haul ass down the road. I couldn’t put Mia down to walk, as she was barefoot and in a satin nightgown. All of the snow birds are peaking out the windows of their RV’s at the poor children and their goofy mother. So the wrecker dude takes pity on my poor, white-trash self and loads my pitiful children into the front of the truck, and takes them to the recreation hall as I walk down the muddy road carrying what appears to be a dingo.
Once at the rec hall, the park owner, who is so nice I am almost crying with gratitude, loads us in her car and takes us home.
And that is all.
Oh, no….I need to add that if the car starts when it gets to the dealership like it did last August when it died in similiar fashion….or like it did on Monday while I was in the city eating lunch with friends and had to call the dealership to come help….well, I justs might have to set it on fire and dance naked around it.
Now that is all.
edit: Yup, I knew it. As soon as they had it off the wrecker, the mechanic put the key in and it started right up. s*t*a*r*t*e*d r*i*g*h*t t*h*e S*a*m H*e*l*l u*p!!! So, everything is checking out fine. And dandy. Which apparently is typical when the fuel pump is going out. Which will cost $800, but they are not really sure it is the fuel pump as they can only test for that when it is not working…..which it is now, so they can’t…..and they can’t guarantee that it won’t go out again…cause you can never tell with fuel pumps. And if it fails again it might happen when I am driving down the highway with my kids, because fuel pumps are fun like that and all. And the wheels on the bus go round and round, round and round…..etc. etc. blah blah.
Lol – Times like that always make me want to go home and polish my Mother of the Year award. And then have a good stiff drink.
I done tagged you over at my blog, Jodi. Have fun!
Yeah… it never fails when one’s at their worst that the worst will happen.
*sigh*
sorry pal.
Hi Jody,
You have a gift for telling a story that so many of us can relate to. I worked for years in an auto shop and could tell you plenty of similar stories about cars that behave “oh so nicely” once they are within sight of a mechanic . The standard line on the repair order was “check cause of intermittent no start” Not too comforting is it?
(Fuel pumps have sure gone up in price since I was working! Yikes!!)
xo
Perhaps the donuts dunked in rum may have been appropriate?
Glad it wasn’t an accident- whew. That was the first thought that crossed my mind when I read the title.
OK, I shouldn’t be laughing at your misfortune…so I’m just chuckling under my breath.
What a bummer for you. Cars/vans, etc. – are just pits to throw $$ into over and over again.
I once got stranded by a cruddy van and hand to hitch-hike home with four of my kids – it was either that or walk. I figured I’d take my chances and made it home alright.
We’ve been stuck by more cars than I care to count.
Did the donuts make it home OK?
Jody: Those donuts are HISTORY!!
That is SOOOO the kind of thing that would happen to me! Oh wait, it did. A few months back, while I was required to wear a boot for a VERY BAD high ankle sprain and had only been allowed to bear weight on it for about a week, my tire blew about a mile from my house. Do you think I had my cell phone with me? Hell no! I didn’t even have my purse. I was wearing pajamas and one slipper, Grace had only her PJ top and a diaper on (I got her out of bed about 30 seconds before we left, and she had wet through the bottoms), and Justin was wearing no shoes. We had to walk/limp/be carried the whole mile home. I would have been mortified if I wasn’t in such terrible pain by the time we got home. I called Will at work, 25 miles away, in tears. I didn’t care how, but her had to fix it; and it had to be done in time to get the big kids at 2:45pm. Being the saint that he is, he called AAA, arranged for them to pick the kids and I up from our house (after we had enough time to put appropriate clothes on) and take us back to the car so we could watch the nice man change our tire. Justin thought it was a great adventure. Me…not so much!
Jody says: Now that sounds very humbling. walking in jammies with your kids down the road for a mile beats our ordeal by a….mile.
Is it bad that I am laughing? But I am only laughing because that has happened to me more times than I care to remember.
I am glad you all got home safely.
Sounds like a good excuse to buy a new van! That kind of uncertainty in automobiles makes me nervous. Glad you can laugh about it. I can just see you holding the dog and the princess! Funny!!
You never fail to make me laugh, or smile, or bring tears to my eyes.
I love your blog.
I could picture every moment of today’s entry.
I raise my glass to you, cheers!
Leeann
nothing like that *ever* happens to us!
the day I went out to get the mail in slippers and jammies was the day I accidentally locked us all out of the house…
glad everyone got home safe!