Always wear clean underwear

In a mad rush we loaded the car, as we do every weekday morning, to drop off the big kids at school.

Mia was still in her pink satin nightgown, no shoes, wrapped in a warm blanket.

Honey was in the front seat, enjoying “Bye, Bye”….no collar, harness or leash. She was “naked” as the boys say.

Quinn was fully dressed, wearing Crocs and no coat.

I was in sweatpants, a white waffle thermal shirt with a pink sports bra and fuzzy Crocs….I don’t think I even had brushed my hair.

Do you see where I am going with this? Yeah. Um huh.

So, we drop off the boys, and head to check on the trailer at the RV park where we store it. There had been a ton of rain, so I wanted to see if all was well with the Little House.

We got there, and I turned off the car, leaving the kids in it while I walked around the RV. I was gone for like, 30 seconds, got back in and tried to start the van.

Ru ru ru ru ruuuuu.

I tried again.

Ru, ru, ru, ru, ru, ruuu.

I took a deep breath and tried again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again.

I screamed “Oh just great, you piece of cr…….ud”

I might have said crap. I might have even said some other stuff. I could have even wished it would go somewhere really far south.

A snow bird (winter Texan) came over and tried everything to get it started. He even beat on my full fuel tank with a hammer while myself, the kids and Honey sat inside the van waiting for it to blow.

We gave up, called a wrecker, and he loaded that piece of *#$t van up and I stood there holding a nightgown clad, barefoot toddler, a dog, as Quinn stood by reverently holding a box of donuts we had picked up before the van sucked so bad. (When we got out of the van I was like “DONT FORGET THE DONUTS. THEY WILL BE LIKE RUM TO ME WHEN THIS ORDEAL IS OVER”.)

So, there we stood, in the freezing drizzle, the road covered in mud. It was so insane I started laughing. I couldn’t put the dog down for fear she would haul ass down the road. I couldn’t put Mia down to walk, as she was barefoot and in a satin nightgown. All of the snow birds are peaking out the windows of their RV’s at the poor children and their goofy mother. So the wrecker dude takes pity on my poor, white-trash self and loads my pitiful children into the front of the truck, and takes them to the recreation hall as I walk down the muddy road carrying what appears to be a dingo.

Once at the rec hall, the park owner, who is so nice I am almost crying with gratitude, loads us in her car and takes us home.

And that is all.

Oh, no….I need to add that if the car starts when it gets to the dealership like it did last August when it died in similiar fashion….or like it did on Monday while I was in the city eating lunch with friends and had to call the dealership to come help….well, I justs might have to set it on fire and dance naked around it.

Now that is all.

edit: Yup, I knew it. As soon as they had it off the wrecker, the mechanic put the key in and it started right up. s*t*a*r*t*e*d r*i*g*h*t t*h*e S*a*m H*e*l*l u*p!!! So, everything is checking out fine. And dandy. Which apparently is typical when the fuel pump is going out. Which will cost $800, but they are not really sure it is the fuel pump as they can only test for that when it is not working…..which it is now, so they can’t…..and they can’t guarantee that it won’t go out again…cause you can never tell with fuel pumps. And if it fails again it might happen when I am driving down the highway with my kids, because fuel pumps are fun like that and all. And the wheels on the bus go round and round, round and round…..etc. etc. blah blah.