More dolphins - January 31, 2008 -
….and some rare footage of Quinn waxing philosophical.
Please folks, ignore my amazingly high pitched, annoying voice. Lord, do I really sound like that?
Just me - January 30, 2008 -
My son took this photo of me. It is a rare instance when I am in a picture, as I am always the one behind the lens. Bill doesn’t like to take photos.
He lives in the moment, as it should be.
Me? I like to document things. I want my kids to pour over the photos one day when Bill and I are long gone and remember the good times. I want them to laugh out loud as they shuffle through them, and say things like “I am so glad mom took these pictures of us all”, and “Oh, look. Here’s Dad at the helm”.
Someone needs to be behind the lens. Now there are 2 of us.
A little captain in training - January 28, 2008 -
Little Miss Mimi is not one for heading below deck when out sailing. She wants to be right where the action is. She frequently tries to take the helm from Bill, and does not appear to be afraid of hanging on the foredeck (the front of the boat….when Bill and I crewed on racing boats, we usually were responsible for the foredeck, so maybe this is part of her genetic makeup?)
Cory has become our navigator. He has the Garmin wired now. Yesterday when my hat went overboard, he ran below and marked it on the GPS as MOB (man overboard), and we retrieved it without problems in the enormous chop that we were sailing on. ;*)
The bay was like glass for most of the sail. The sun was out for the first time in over a week, and it was gloriously warm….if you were not in the shade.
We were out for most of the day and it was hard to come in, but a chill was setting in, and you all know what Barbies we are.
I have had people ask what the kids will do onboard when we take off this summer for 2 weeks on the boat (and then maybe another week at another time?).
Well, sometimes they will be below deck, as the boys are here because there were not enough electronic devices on deck.
Or playing games, reading, swimming, crewing on the boat, sleeping, writing in their journals, fishing, shell seeking, exploring little islands in the dinghy, snoozing on deck in the sunshine or dolphin watching.
Or taking photos
Pretty much having the time of their lives, we hope.
The other side to that is the the inevitable “I’m bored”, which has happened repeatedly already, and you all know how we handle that, right?
We know tantrums will happen
And princesses will turn all pissy on us
The thing is, that is life at home as well, so it is six of one, half dozen of the other, you know? We might as well be someplace with a killer view.
Always wear clean underwear - January 25, 2008 -
In a mad rush we loaded the car, as we do every weekday morning, to drop off the big kids at school.
Mia was still in her pink satin nightgown, no shoes, wrapped in a warm blanket.
Honey was in the front seat, enjoying “Bye, Bye”….no collar, harness or leash. She was “naked” as the boys say.
Quinn was fully dressed, wearing Crocs and no coat.
I was in sweatpants, a white waffle thermal shirt with a pink sports bra and fuzzy Crocs….I don’t think I even had brushed my hair.
Do you see where I am going with this? Yeah. Um huh.
So, we drop off the boys, and head to check on the trailer at the RV park where we store it. There had been a ton of rain, so I wanted to see if all was well with the Little House.
We got there, and I turned off the car, leaving the kids in it while I walked around the RV. I was gone for like, 30 seconds, got back in and tried to start the van.
Ru ru ru ru ruuuuu.
I tried again.
Ru, ru, ru, ru, ru, ruuu.
I took a deep breath and tried again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again.
I screamed “Oh just great, you piece of cr…….ud”
I might have said crap. I might have even said some other stuff. I could have even wished it would go somewhere really far south.
A snow bird (winter Texan) came over and tried everything to get it started. He even beat on my full fuel tank with a hammer while myself, the kids and Honey sat inside the van waiting for it to blow.
We gave up, called a wrecker, and he loaded that piece of *#$t van up and I stood there holding a nightgown clad, barefoot toddler, a dog, as Quinn stood by reverently holding a box of donuts we had picked up before the van sucked so bad. (When we got out of the van I was like “DONT FORGET THE DONUTS. THEY WILL BE LIKE RUM TO ME WHEN THIS ORDEAL IS OVER”.)
So, there we stood, in the freezing drizzle, the road covered in mud. It was so insane I started laughing. I couldn’t put the dog down for fear she would haul ass down the road. I couldn’t put Mia down to walk, as she was barefoot and in a satin nightgown. All of the snow birds are peaking out the windows of their RV’s at the poor children and their goofy mother. So the wrecker dude takes pity on my poor, white-trash self and loads my pitiful children into the front of the truck, and takes them to the recreation hall as I walk down the muddy road carrying what appears to be a dingo.
Once at the rec hall, the park owner, who is so nice I am almost crying with gratitude, loads us in her car and takes us home.
And that is all.
Oh, no….I need to add that if the car starts when it gets to the dealership like it did last August when it died in similiar fashion….or like it did on Monday while I was in the city eating lunch with friends and had to call the dealership to come help….well, I justs might have to set it on fire and dance naked around it.
Now that is all.
edit: Yup, I knew it. As soon as they had it off the wrecker, the mechanic put the key in and it started right up. s*t*a*r*t*e*d r*i*g*h*t t*h*e S*a*m H*e*l*l u*p!!! So, everything is checking out fine. And dandy. Which apparently is typical when the fuel pump is going out. Which will cost $800, but they are not really sure it is the fuel pump as they can only test for that when it is not working…..which it is now, so they can’t…..and they can’t guarantee that it won’t go out again…cause you can never tell with fuel pumps. And if it fails again it might happen when I am driving down the highway with my kids, because fuel pumps are fun like that and all. And the wheels on the bus go round and round, round and round…..etc. etc. blah blah.
To sail on a dream - January 23, 2008 -
My life is never boring. Well, sometimes it is, but Bill always comes in and shakes things up a bit.
I had in my head the numbers 2009 as the year we would sail offshore and expand our exploration of the Gulf coast to include Florida and Mexico. I targeted May 2009 as the goal to get ready for the Regatta de Amigos, a sail to Veracruz, Mexico.
Bill has been throwing out little hints……….little hints that made me know that I had hooked him, and just had to slowly reel him in. I mean, come on. We are talking about sailing! How could the man not cave! He has been spending much time at the boat, fixing things, outfitting it with new hardware. He got the GPS for Christmas, and there is talk of buying all new sails with our first bonus check.
This year the plan has been to take a summer trip to the 4 corners (Utah, Colorado) to revisit the sufferfest that was our honeymoon and 1st anniversary. Instead of biking in the desert for 20-40 miles and biking 12,000 foot mountain passes, we would hike with 4 young children, and outdo any suffering that physical endurance had thrown out to us in the past. This was to be a trip of mental endurance. It was a trip that Bill was thinking would be worse than sticking needles in his eyes.
Little things he has been saying over the last few weeks have been picked up by my adventure radar, and when you string them together, well…..
This weekend, he mentioned that he wanted to take the boat out on an extended trip soon. I say “Like a weekend along Padre?” and he replied “That and maybe Mexico.”
I need to repeat that………..”THAT AND MAYBE MEXICO”.
No details yet. No firm plans. No dates. Just idle talk about what kind of food to bring for a long trip (2 weeks? 1 week?…not sure how long he can take off of work…but we will have no ice or refrigeration for the duration so meal planning is important) and some internet browsing for more hardware, sails etc.
We have also come to an agreement (dudes, mom totally had dibs on naming the boat)) on a name for the boat. It is so very cool, and fits so perfectly. It defines my life and all of my dreams of the ocean that I had as a child. When we get it put on the boat I will share it with you. Hint: the things that you’ve shown us
Our family is going to freak. If you receive hell for some of the choices you make in raising your kids, imagine how us loading 4 kids onto a boat and heading out to sea for 2 weeks is going to go over with everyone who loves them??? The safety issue is going to give many people sleepless nights….myself included. The only assurance I can give people is that we have a sound boat. In the coming weeks and months we will be taking her out on the Gulf for some mini-trips to see how she handles big waves and heavier air. It will also lend us some info on how well the kids will do with seasickness. This is a biggie. 4 seasick kids barfing below deck while Bill and I try to manage anything remotely difficult on deck might prove to be our undoing.
Another note of assurance is that Bill knows his stuff. He knows how to sail anything. He understands the wind and the currents. He has a handle on mechanical repairs etc. Not to mention he has already made a Gulf crossing on a sailboat to the exact location we are talking about heading.
While the kids and I were in Ft. Worth over the holidays, Bill took this 31 ft boat out sailing singlehanded. For those who don’t sail, this means getting in and out of a dock by yourself (which is a feat all its own) hoisting sails (NOT roller furling), trimming them and taking them down single handed. It is not rigged yet for this. Sure, it is easy on a sunfish, or even a 24 footer, but our boat is large. The mast height is huge and towers above the other boats of comparable size. When he told me he went sailing by himself I was like “Shut up! No way, are you serious?”
It was easy for him.
My point is, I trust him. I wouldn’t trust anyone else as Captain of our boat and life.
As things progress, I will post them here. If When we do this (plans change on a dime around here), I will probably write about the preparation and our plans, and of course we will bring you right along on the voyage.
Any questions?
Edited to add: Bill was just home for lunch, and I asked him if he knew any cruising websites we could get on to make some lists of what we will need etc for such a passage, and he replied “Yes. El sitio de los estupido”. Yup. That about sums it up.
Fog soup - January 22, 2008 -
This is the time of year that brings fog to the coast regularly.
The water is cool, and the air tries to heat up, and all hell breaks loose.
It usually burns off midday, but the chill that it brings in the morning just makes your bones rattle.
Trying to find inspiration to lug my camera around during this gray time of year is hard, but each morning I tuck it next to me in the front seat, load Honey and the kids up and do the morning drop off routine.
Today the fog just filled up my senses. Everything seemed magnified at the edge of visibility.
I was photographing some wild ducks, and out of the fog drifted a ghost.
Birds emerged amid the ordinary shapes and angles.
Little, inhabited islands appeared out of the fog.
Right now, as much as warm sand and blazing sun are what I long for, there is a sense of peace and ethereal beauty along the winter coast that settles me.
All that I am, All that I ever was - January 18, 2008 -
We’ll do it all
Everything
On our own
We don’t need
Anything
Or anyone
If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?
I don’t quite know
How to say
How I feel
Those three words
Are said too much
they’re not enough
If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?
Forget what we’re told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that’s bursting into life
Let’s waste time
Chasing cars
Around our heads
I need your grace
To remind me
To find my own
If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?
Forget what we’re told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that’s bursting into life
All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes, they’re all I can see
I don’t know where
Confused about how as well
Just know that these things will never change for us at all
If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?
-Snow Patrol
Sometimes when I speak it all comes out wrong. Sometimes it just seems impossible to tell someone what is in that complicated brain that sits up on my shoulders. How do you put emotion into word? I can’t. I just can’t.
I can’t convey to my friends back home why we left. I can’t explain to anyone here at the coast why I won’t let them in, why I have become an island…..why my family has become an island. I can’t even convey it to myself.
It hurts that there are some people who are still mad bewildered/upset with us. It hurts that they don’t understand.
I can’t use words to make it simple for everyone. It hurts too much to try.
I can use someone elses though.
I can take those words and copy them here, and maybe someone will read them and understand. Maybe someone will grasp how much I love that man.
Everything else in my life pales in comparison to my family.
I will never look back on this time in my life and feel regret for making my husband a priority.
I will never regret turning my back on everything else outside of my family.
I know one thing. I never in a million years knew that I could love someone this much…..that I could lose myself in them.
The line is blurred as to where I end and where he starts.
And I have to tell you, I would go to hell and back with him……coming here was easy.
‘Sup, homie? - January 16, 2008 -
Payce dawg. Rise up foo. Shorty is off the chain and wants your junk. Peace out.
This would be a glimpse into one moment of my life with this man.
No, he is not normal, and no, you can’t have him.
On the 12th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me… - January 15, 2008 -
One Garmin 440 GPS Chartplotter
The man is in heaven. Now our navigation station is essentially complete. We can find our way through any waters in the US, Virgin Island, Bahamas, Alaska and Hawaii.
Mia, our onboard navigator, thinks it is soooo cool, and will enhance her knowledge of celestial navigation quite well.
Now if she can just get her lazy crew of swabs up on deck…
A day of relaxing and casting - January 14, 2008 -
The little Diva fishing.
Love the mouth action here as Bill tries to set a hook.
You would think he landed a shark or somthing.
The poor, transparent, nervous bait.
And guess who caught the best fish of the day???
As soon as she figured out she had a fish on her Disney Princess’ fishing pole, she dropped it and ran away. I grabbed the pole before it was dragged into the channel and reeled in her little flounder as she stood by grossing out.
Can you find the circle while mom soaks up some rays? - January 11, 2008 -
We went on a “field trip” today.
Can you guess where?
I swear it was educational!
We combined PE and….um…..their ability to seek out a particular shape! Yeah, that’s it. I told them for their assignment they must find a perfectly round circle.
They both got an A+ today.
And I got some sand between my toes and some sun on my pasty white skin.
The weather was wonderful…it was chilly when we first got there, but later the temp got up to 70, and the sand was nice and warm.
And no, this is not going to become a blog about homeschooling these dudes:
It’s the weekend in less than 3 hours, so it will be a rum blog by this evening. ;*)
Sometimes I get confused
Somewhere around page two
I live the perfect crime
And crime pays more than it used to
They’re checkin’ the evidence
May be some charges pressed
The only one they got me on
is some misdemeanor craziness
If It All Falls Down, falls down, falls down
If they solve my life if they find me out
Never thought to keep all I have found
I have had my fun If It All Falls Down
I am a convert - January 10, 2008 -
We are simply devouring books here at our house.
I cannot recommend Sonlight high enough. We are doing Core 1&2, and it is a blast. I am learning as much as my kids!
We are using Saxon Math 2 (which has a bunch of review, so we are working fast through the first half of the book….and you were right Chris, the teachers manual is a waste of time…..overly repetitive), Handwriting Without Tears, Explode the Code for spelling and review, and Apologia Science (we are doing the Astronomy)….oh, and Spanish.
Things are pretty relaxed around here, as you can see from my last post. We follow the schedule somewhat…..but not every day. That is the beauty of Sonlight. You can pretty much do your own thing with it.
Even with the relaxing, we are doing so very much.
Quinn reads his chapter book outloud to us in the morning on the way to take the big kids to school, and when we return home, the little ones play for a bit. He is reading a book each day, so we should be finished with the entire year of Grade 2 readers by next Friday, and then we will start on the Grade 3-5 Advanced, which I know will take much longer.
We are pretty much done by 11am and have the rest of the day to play and explore.
Which leaves me to wonder what the heck they do at school with over 7 hours????
Going low-tech - January 8, 2008 -
This morning I tried to call my husband on his cell phone, only to discover that he had left it on his bedside table along with his pager. I called him at work and asked if he needed me to bring them to him, and the answer was “no, I will be home early and no need for the pager when I am at work”.
I thought “Dang, now I have to call the front office if I need him”, which I realized was completely idiotic seeing that he will be home in 3 hours anyway.
The new issue of Outside arrived in our mailbox yesterday, and there was a very thought provoking article in it titled “Buzz Killers” by Marc Peruzzi. Go read it if you have not. It is in the February 2008 issue in the “Dispatches” section. You can’t miss the picture at the beginning of the article. It is a runner in the New York City Marathon, running while talking on a cell phone. Lunacy, I tell you. Marc states: “Tech toys are great. It’s the people who don’t know when to put them away that suck.”
I agree.
What have we become? We are obsessed with technology….cell phones, iphones, ipods, PDA’s, smart phones, computers, GPS’………the list goes on and on. God forbid we get out of touch when we run to the store for milk.
How many of you check your e-mail on your smart phone when you are at the park with your kids? Go on, don’t be shy. I am raising my hand.
How many of you waste the day on the computer, surfing and reading about other peoples lives while yours silently marches on without you?
Yup, that is me with my arm in the air.
Have you stood in the check out line at the grocery store, with a cell phone at your ear?
Do you think you would notice this view if you were engaged in a dicussion via cell phone with a friend about your new shoes or what so and so said about so and so.
Do you turn everything you do into a blog post in your mind?
I love blogging, and have no intention of shutting this one down, but I have made some changes in my life since last summer, and I intend to continue with the change.
Marc Peruzzi’s article made me think back to my life BEFORE I owned a computer and cell phone. A time when Bill and I went sailing and the sound of a ringing phone was alien on a boat. A time when we spent our evenings reading magazines and books instead of a computer screen.
And I want that back. I know that I have not gone off the dep end…my world does not revolve around the computer…but I know that I have wasted precious time on stuff that has no bearing on my life whatsoever, and it is sad.
So, slowly since last summer I have made changes that involved: limiting my IM time, turning off the damn computer, turning off the cell phone and getting my ass outside.
Now I am going for more freedom from those ties that bind.
My cell phone will not be used while I am at the store. If I bring it to the park, I will silence it. I will not drive and talk on it at the same time. Even when it is on, I am chosing not to answer it each and every time it rings. Same with my home phone. I intend to think of it as an emergency tool, not a necessity.
I will continue blogging here as usual, but nowhere else. My computer will not be turned on while I am homeschooling and reading with my children. It will also be off from 3:30pm on, unless researching something with my kids or husband.
I plan on reclaiming my freedom. I don’t want people to be able to reach me wherever I am. I don’t want to walk down the beach and hear the Cingular tone go off in my pocket. When I run, I want to hear the sound of my feet hitting the pavement instead of Green Day from my ipod. I don’t want to hear the tone from my computer announcing receipt of an e-mail while I am reading to my children. I love these modern gadgets, but I also like escaping from them and plan to do so more often.
I will leave you with the last paragraph of the article….a bit harsh, but truthfull none-the-less:
“Which is ultimately my beef with gadget abuse. It removes us from moments that are too precious to get pissed away scrolling through the images you just shot on your digicam, calling your girlfriend from the summit of Rainer, or editing footage on the chairlift-and showing it to me!-instead of kicking back and watching the snowflakes drift by. Web phones, hand held GPS units, bike computers with digital inclinometers, wee machines that play wee movies-every year there’s a new distraction. I use most of it, but not when it would make me look or feel like a schmuck. Kindly do the same”.
I am home - January 4, 2008 -
Did you miss me?
I’m back from freezing my tail end off in Ft. Worth for a week. Sheesh, how do you northern people do it? I mean, the temps were in the 20’s-30’s for most of the trip, and my kids were simply going ape from being cooped up inside. It was a Runescape marathon for them, as there were 3 computers available to them.
They did go outside once, squinting into the blinding light of the sun and gave my sister a coronary when they went down the street on their skate boards. The hill my mom lives on is very steep, and is the same hill that I broke my arm sledding on, hence the coronary. My brother on the other hand, ran out and joined them and I was sure he would break a hip or a tailbone.
It was such a fantastic visit, in spite of the cold. We spent some quality time with my mom, sister and her boyfriend, and the icing on the cake was that my brother joined in. I can’t go into the details as to why (spouse), but he refuses to isolate himself and his children from his family anymore, and for this I am so grateful. We have really missed out on some qualitiy sibling and cousin time (he has 2 young children), and plan on making up for it in the months and years to come.
The kids have been sick most of the holidays, and on the last day of our time with my mom, I called my friend P and asked if her lovely husband could see my daughter. I was suspicious that she had something serious, as the rash on her body was getting worse, she was cranky, and was sleeping until past 10am. No fever, no other complants. Dr. Husband Of P, the pediatrician, saw Mia, did a throat swab and “TaDa” she had strep throat. Strep throat=an abrupt halt to the rest of the vacation plans (which included a weekend in the hill country), so we loaded up on antibiotics and headed back to the coast yesterday. One…long….drive. Ugh, I most certainly didn’t calculate the distance to my moms into the decision to move. I miss her.
As we neared the bridge that would take us back to the beach where we live, I heard Cory say “Mia, look! The bridge! We are almost HOME” and she squealed “YEAAAAHH” and the rest of the boys chimed in with cheering. I think that is the first time I have heard them call our new town home.
Seeing the bridge gave me the same feelings of “home”. The view of people lined up fishing on the bridge, the first glimpse of water, the sweet smell of the ocean. It makes me aware of how a fish must feel when it is lifted from it’s womb of water, and exposed to air. Just a suffocating, lost feeling……and the relief it must feel when it is tossed back and enveloped
into that salty loveliness.
Our bodies are somewhere around 70% saline water. We have strong ties with the sea. Many people don’t feel this tie. They have no connection with the sea whatsoever. In fact, many people I know loath the beach and everything about it. This is about as foreign to me as foreign can be. The pull I feel to the water is so strong is is primal. I have felt it all of my life. The only way I can describe it is that it is like an overwhelming thirst after days and days in the desert with no water.
Today I feel like that fish. Quenched, relieved and at home, back in the salty loveliness of the coast.
